Before Tell Me You Love Me debuted on HBO in September of 2008, the show got a lot of press for the amount of explicit sex the series contained. While that is indeed true, Tell Me You Love Me is geared at an adult audience, to call it simply a show about sex, misses the entire point. Arriving on the heels of mega-hits like The Sopranos and Sex and the City, Tell Me You Love Me definitely represents a departure for the network. The series lacks the tough machismo of Tony Soprano and doesn’t allow for the humorous look at sex relationships and Manolo Blahniks Carrie Bradshaw and her girlfriends gave viewers each week.


The ten episode first season focuses on four couples. One couple is about to get married, one is trying to have a child, the third hasn’t had sex in a year and the last couple isn’t quite content in their longtime marriage. As series creator Cynthia Mort says in one of the included commentaries, she was going for a sense of realism and these could all be the same people in various time periods.
The first couple Hugo and Jamie (Luke Farrell Kirby, Michelle Borth) call of their impending wedding because of her fears that he can’t be monogamous. Both in their late twenties, both these people seem ill-equipped for marriage. They have sex or get high, rather than talk.
Carolyn and Palek (Sonya Walger and Adam Scott), are well of 30-somethings who’ve been trying to get pregnant for over a year. Carolyn a lawyer and Palek a contractor are both type “A” personalities with serious father issues. Neither of them has good relationships with their dads, but worry how that will affect their ability to be good parents. However, in their world-or at least in Carolyn´s-all that matters is having that child to the detriment of everything else. At first glance, Carolyn’s obsession with having a child makes her the most annoying character on the show but as anyone who has had fertility issues can tell you, having a baby can quickly become the focus of your life.
tellme08-doug_hyun_th.jpgKatie and Dave (Ally Walker and Tim DeKay) are a 40-something couple who have put their two children first. Married twelve years, they had their first child fairly quickly into the marriage and have lost their intimacy as a couple. While they remain committed to each other and sleep in the same bed, they can’t bear to touch. The first scene we see of the couple is Dave masturbating in bed and Katie’s devastation as she witnesses the act from the bathroom door.
The tie that binds all these couples together is Dr. May Foster (Jane Alexander). She is the therapist all the couples turn to with their various issues. However, the doctor doesn’t get off scott free here, she and her husband Arthur (David Selby) had problems in their marriage some years back when she had an affair. They remained together after a lot of soul searching. Though it’s rare to see people in their sixties having sex on television, May and Arthur have very healthy libidos, which will be an eye opener for some.
tellme15-doug_hyun.jpgWatching an episode of Tell Me You Love Me is a real roller coaster of emotions. At once uplifting and empowering and agonizing, the show is difficult to define. Yes, there is a lot of sex but the show is also about, relationships, work, family and faith. As creator Cynthia Mort says on the commentary for episode one, in her view Tell Me You Love Me is pro-family and pro-monogamy. Despite all the sex, the only pair who cheats is Hugo and Jamie, who are not married and their relationship is on the rocks. At its heart, the show is about making relationships work.
The filming style of Tell Me You Love Me creates a sense of unmitigated reality. There is a close, voyeuristic style to the production that makes you feel like you’re in the scene with each character. The best example comes in episode #4 during a therapy session with Katie and Dave. Dave, who has always appeared to be this sort of mild mannered guy, all of a sudden lets out a laundry list of reasons why he’s not interested in sex – picking out the right apple juice, reading the kids to bed, etc. During his tirade, the camera comes as close to his face as possible in one continuous take. It’s a spare, brutally honest moment.
The show is brutally honest. Everything is sparse. There is no soundtrack. The viewer is forced to remain completely trained on the characters, their expressions, their movements. If you watch Tell Me You Love Me with an open mind you just might find someone you know, or a little bit of yourself in one of the characters. In this age of “reality” television,” Tell Me You Love Me is one of the most realistic shows I’ve seen in a long time.
Presented in a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen aspect ratio, the first season episodes come across just as Cynthia Mort wants them to: realistic, ordinary. The show was shot using handheld Super 16 cameras. Audio is provided in English 5.1 and Spanish 2.0. Subtitles are available in English, French and Spanish.

Tell Me You Love Me – The Complete First Season includes four commentary tracks. Episode one features creator Cynthia Mort talking about her inspiration and ideas for the show. She discusses a lot of the technical aspects of things; how they shot scenes, where they shot them etc.
Episode 4 features a commentary by Ally Walker and Tim DeKay. They discuss their experiences shooting the show and talk about their real lives.
Episode 7 features a boring commentary from Michelle Borth and Luke Farrell Kirby. Kirby just doesn’t say much here. The both seem tickled pink to be watching themselves on screen.
Episode 8 features a commentary with Adam Scott and Sonya Walger. They talk about a prosthetic penis for Palek and mention that the commentary is being recorded before the show premieres.
Each episode includes a synopsis screen as well as the “previously on…” recap segments.